Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
