woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
