I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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