The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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