just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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