how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
