On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize