is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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