So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
