chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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