There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
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His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
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you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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