Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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