I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need to calm my uterus...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize