If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
