She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
50% drunk capacity currently
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
