last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
