Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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