I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
