he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
