Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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