They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
