fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I fill condoms, not promises.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
