I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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