That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
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I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
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He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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