I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
