i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
