I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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