At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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