i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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