who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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