i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
