i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
