I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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