How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize