Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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