i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
