Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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