i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
