Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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