As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
