This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
