i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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