I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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