He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
