My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
