you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
