from now on my penis is your penis
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
