I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
