god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
