we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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