PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
