we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
