You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize