and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
