You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
