Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
