Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
