If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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