the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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