It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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