I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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