I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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