Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
