Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
