The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
