please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can text with my tongue
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
