Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
